Values and Valuing

What is true family? What is true community? What is true intimacy? What is true partnership?

What is real and authentic is true. What is covered, secretive and pretended is false. Where we seek to get what we believe we cannot or do not have, we manipulate, bargain and demand. Where we strive to get from others, we believe they must lose for us to win. Where we want to win at another's expense, we destroy the relationship and undermine what is true. When anyone loses faith, dignity, respect, self worth and confidence, everyone loses. When we get what we want and others lose what they want, no one wins. The individuals, relationship, family, community and nation all lose.

When we are at war in our own household, someone must be willing to choose peace. When we are at war within our own conscience, one part of us must be willing to forgive the conflict. When we are fighting with our neighbors, we must look for the higher ground and the greater Good. When we are losing the battle, we must recognize that in war, no one wins.

There are many wars being waged. War is for the weak and the ignorant. Resentment and hatred, threat and violence, come from the cowardly and the impotent. Negotiation, mutual respect, and true communication are for those who are strong, courageous and honest.

Wherever you are at odds, in disagreement or underseige, build a peace plan. Make peace within yourself. Clarify you strategy for developing your listening skills and true understanding. Acknowledge your own conscious and unconscious errors. Apologize for your attacks, judgments, manipulation, criticism and negative behaviors. Give your full attention to what will make amends for your mistakes. Honor the other's needs with your words, thoughts and behaviors. Build an emotional bank account by developing consistent kindness, listening, contribution and care, When you have destroyed the trust and honesty within any relationship, it takes time to rebuild. Building a new relationship requires your vision, focus, faith, intention, commitment, preparedness, action and gratitude. Keep in touch with your heart and Spirit within to make sure you are on track.

Remember: When you put the outcome you want before your authentic relationship, you need to be right. When you value your real relationship first, you are seeking to heal and be happy.

Loving you, Betty Lue

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