Basic Communication Etiquette

Everyone has the same communication right and responsibilities. The conscious ones (sometimes parents and adults) must be impeccable in teaching by example. “Communication” means coming together as one or using words to “connect”. People hear more your “tone of voice” and body language than your intention of the words.

What you want to receive must be what you give consistently. What you think and say and do is teaching everyone…..even when your are in private. Telling a friend what you don’t want others to hear is heard by the others. (There are no secrets.) The story you tell begets more similar experiences and stories.

Words can hurt far more than slaps and blows, so choose your words carefully. Never use name-calling, belittling or “hate” words. Understand that your modeling teaches everyone how you want to be treated. Talk about your views, about your feelings, facts and willingness to take responsibility. “I feel…. I want……..I am willing…….”

When you relate to children ( and adults), speak about their behaviors, not about their person. Give yourself an opportunity to breathe (count to ten) or take a time-out before you say angry things. Be focused on what you want to hear and see and do rather than what you want to stop and avoid. Where you place your attention and emphasis, you feed and what you don’t want will increase.

If you want to win trust and respect, be trustworthy and respectful….consistently. If you want to hear the truth (no withhold, lies, deceptions or coverups), be totally honest yourself. If you want to see a change in behavior, change your own behavior, tone of voice, and communication. If you want to make a difference in a relationship or in a situation, visualize what you really want to be.

Never interrupt. Find a way to say what you want to say quickly, quietly and with respect. Be clear about your intention for your communication. ( It can be felt underneath the words.) Be honest about your own mistakes and admit your wrongs and make amends immediately.

Keep all your relationships and communications impeccable. No judgments, resentments, guilt’s or blames being held. Learn to forgive and forget. Treat others always with honor and dignity, as you wish to be treated.

Stop talking about anyone behind their back. Children must not be discussed with neighbors and friends. How would you feel? Don’t expect others to be able to communicate the way you do. Give people a chance to respond. Some need to think or reflect before they can answer.

When you make a mistake, admit your error and correct it immediately or as soon as recognized. When you don’t know what to do to improve your communication, seek help. If you are challenged by someone, admit when you do not know. If they want your help, find resources for help, information and creative solutions.

Change your mind to change your life. Change your perspective to change your reactions. Change your attitude to change your experience. Change your physiology to change your emotions.

Believe it or not, we are entirely 100% responsible for the quality of our communication. One person can totally change the quality of their relationships. When you learn a better way to think, perceive, speak and act, you will make an immediate difference. You are the most conscious person in your family or world, if you are reading this.

We only speak with two messages: “I am loving, trusting and freeing you.” Please receive the gift of my unconditional Love. “I am needy, afraid, lacking Love, trust and freedom.” Please help me by giving me love and modeling Love.

It is our responsibility to be Love givers wherever we see and remember. Learn to be conscious and responsible (response able)!

Loving you with full responsibility, Betty Lue

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