How Love Works!

When we love everyone, we will fear no one. Where we withhold our love, we feel unloved and separate. Where we feel anger and animosity, we expect anger and upset in return. When we attack (even with thoughts and expectations), we unconsciously become defensive and afraid.

Our work is within ourselves. Our work is to clear our fear. Our work is to respond with Love. Our work is to forgive everything and everyone all the time, including ourselves.

When we love conditionally, we feel loved conditionally. When we love with expectations, we love others based on their fulfillment of our expectations. When we say we love someone, but only love them if and when they fit our pictures, we do not love. When we give love to get love, we are bargaining, not loving.

Conditional love is learned in childhood. Conditional love is based on giving what is needed and expected to get the love and approval we want. Conditional love always has the threat of being withheld or withdrawn. Conditional love feels demanding and essential to our survival when we depend on another’s love.

Conditional love creates dependency and often times addictive or co dependent relationships. When we are intermittently rewarded with another’s affection and attention, we seek more. When we are intermittently punished and rewarded, we crave the reward and seek to please or become resistant and fearful of being punished. These may be unhealthy and potentially destructive relationships.

When we are consistently loved, we flourish in the warmth, acceptance and appreciation. When we are loved for being ourselves and not for what we do, we find joy in sharing our love. When we are loved unconditionally, we grow in self awareness, self confidence and self love. When we are love unconditionally, we become self disciplined and regulate our behaviors.

The pain of conditional love is often managed with self medications and addictions. People numb themselves from the anxiety and despair of “never being enough” to be loved consistently. Self approval and self love is based on whether others are loving and approving of us. When caught in this dilemma, we fail to see the other as loving themselves conditionally.

The relationship stability and harmony is based on whether the individuals are in good moods. Both parties seek to stabilize the resultant outcome, but are consumed with trying to manage the other’s approval or disapproval. When one person begins to take responsibility for finding and sustaining love without fear or conditions, the relationship benefits. When one person is consistently respectful, compassionate appreciative and loving, both parties benefit. It only takes one to turn around the relationship b changing their own attitude of love and appreciation for themselves.

Love begins within. Love is forgiving all judgments. Love is erasing everything that is not loving. Love is choosing for the highest Good for all concerned. Love is deleting the hurts of the past and remembering the Good. Love is consistently seeking to improve the quality of communication ane relating. Love is listening from your heart. Love is letting go of criticism, complaints, and emotional threats to oneself or another. Love is seeing oneself and others with renewed respect and appreciation every day.

Loving is fun, safe and easy. Love without conditions and you will know unlimited Love.

You Are A Flower in the Garden of Life ( and so is everyone else!) Love everyone equally and your Garden of Love with blossom with Abundant Beauty and Great Joy!

If you would grow to be your best self Be patient, not demanding Accepting, not condemning Nurturing, not withholding Self-marveling, not belittling Gently guiding, not pushing & punishing

For you are more sensitive than you know Mankind is tough as war Yet delicate as flowers We can endure agonies But we open fully only to warmth & light And our need to grow is fragile as a fragrance Dispersed by storms of will To return only when those storms are still

So accept, respect, Attend your sensitivity

A flower Cannot be opened With a hammer

Anonymous

Betty Lue

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