Where Attention Goes, Energy Flows

What do you think about, worry about, focus on? Where you do spend your time, money and energy? Where are you addicted, stuck or obsessed? What consumes most of your life?

Where focused on a problem, the problem grows. When fixated on a relationship, that relationship may drain your energy. When you are delighted, energized and fulfilled, your joy grows. When you are scared, resentful or hurting, you pain and upset will increase.

Behavior Modification is a well researched, effective and often utilized technique. We learn to ignore the behaviors we want to extinguish or eliminate. We consciously and consistently give positive attention to the experience we want to increase. We learn thoughts, mental images, as well as words and behaviors are powerful creative energies. Where we worry, concern, resentment, blame, criticize we unconsciously block our own energy. When we think, speak or act in ways that shut down the life energy in us, we weaken ourselves.

One of most powerful manipulative tools is to be demanding, needy, weak, helpless and dependent on others. When we find ourselves reacting to the demanding child or adult, we need to forgive ourselves. When are easily upset or distracted by another, we need to find our own center and purpose. When we think love is handling others’ needs, we need to learn that love is trusting others to be responsible.

Loving ourselves is truly be respectful and honor our deepest needs. Love is learning to be able to respond to our own needs, desires, and purpose. Love is learning to cooperate (not interfere) with others fulfilling their own needs. Love is believing in others ability to learn, to heal, to grow, to do for themselves.

When you reward others for being dependent on you, you reinforce they need you to do it for them. When you encourage others to do it for themselves, and are pleased for them, they learn to be responsible. When you doubt others ability to learn from life experiences, you teach them to doubt themselves. When you make mistakes, acknowledge, apologize and choose a better way openly as your teaching model.

My Mom had a belief for children, and immature adults: Give everyone as much responsibility as they can handle and a little more to grow into. Trust people to learn and grow from the challenges in life. Recognize that difficult times strengthen us and help us learn to trust ourselves and our abilities.

I encourage us all during any challenging time in relationship, finances, health, life learning to stop and learn. Observe your patterns. See where you have gotten stuck. Look for options and opportunities. Seek the outcome you want and hold the image in your mind. Interrupt unconscious or negative patterns of thinking, speaking and behaving. Step away from what no longer works. Listen for what will bring you happiness and inner peace. Choose a better way.

Trusting we are all learning, Betty Lue

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