Stop Destructive Relationships!

It is up to the most conscious or mature person to stop destroying your relationships? Stop blaming, bullying, berating, belittling, badgering and battling!

Sarcasm hurts. Kindness heals. Bullying belittles. Respect heals. Blaming pushes away. Accepting heals. Badgering and lecturing shuts down communication. Listening heals. Punishing offends. Appreciation heals. Battling, arguing and being angry separates. Respecting differences heals.

We learn how to treat others from our childhood relationship experiences. What worked for our parents or peers then usually does not work now. If your methods of treating and interacting no longer work or get the results you want, stop. If you don’t want to be close, connected, respected and love, keep on doing the destructive stuff. If you want your relationships to be respectful, trusting, appreciative and kind, stop these behaviors.

You are creating the quality and tone of all your relationships. Notice what you are doing, saying, thinking and stop expecting the other person to change. Give up the notion that you can change anyone except yourself. When you change your own way of relating, you will change the dynamic of all your relationships.

Yes, you are teaching others how to treat you and themselves by how you treat them and yourself. You are the one who can make the most profound difference in your life and theirs by your attitude. You can begin to respect, accept and be kind to others when they have forgotten how to do it themselves. You can demonstrate a better way to speak, act and get along by changing your mind and your tone.

Relationship consultants say that the five most destructive behaviors are: Constant criticism, nagging and badgering, threatening and demanding, stonewalling and silent treatment, shamiing and belittling. I would add to that list: inappropriate or excessive punishment , inconsistency or lack of follow through, hypocrisy and not practicing what you are demonstrating, saying you are loving when the other feels unloved and devalued are the most confusing behaviors in relationship.

It is important with our mates, children and family members to give the ones we love our very best. Treating strangers better than our own family is a mistake and very confusing. We need to treat those we live with as honored guests. Listen and learn. Observe what works and doesn’t work. Be kind and respectful in all your communications, Honor yourself and keep yourself at your best physically, mentally and emotionally. Be the one in all your relationships that show the way of Love, trust, respect and appreciation.

Stop relating with destructive behaviors. Start relating always with love, respect and kindness.

Loving you, Betty Lue

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