Children Learn Best

(Yes, This includes ALL of us!)

Children learn best when they know they are loved. It is not enough to say you love. Everyone recognizes and gives love differently. Tune into what each child needs to realize they are safe and Loved by you.

(PS. Everyone, no matter what their age, wants to be loved. Often people don’t “get it” because you are loving them in your way, not theirs. Check out the 5languagesoflove assessments. See handouts below for more info.)

This week (spring break) we have three grandkids at our Lake Home. We spend as much time with them as possible, because we can, we learn and we love. The single most important influences on a child are those who love in the ways they can receive. Each one of our grandchildren are most receptive to love in a different way.

When we say we love each child equally, it is from the belief we can love them the same?? When we love everyone the same, we miss what is uniquely needed in each person. Take the time to discover what each person needs and wants, especially yourself. When you know exactly how to love, you will begin to connect and be a strong positive teacher.

My Dad always claimed that being a “mother” and “father” was the most important job in the world. If we love, respect, listen to, encourage and appreciate our children, we can teach them to do the same. All relationships begin with our parenting, our family system, our being loved and taught by example. We are imprinted and socialized by the adults, parents and caregivers in our life.

Whether you are a parent, grandparent, caregiver, teacher or stranger to a child, know you matter. Your tone, your facial expression, your touch, your words and your behavior make a difference. We are influencing our society and culture by the media, art, music, family life and relationships. How you talk on the phone, how you dress, how you treat your mate, how you handle stress, all teach.

Maybe it is time to take greater responsibility for what we are teaching. Maybe it is time for being the adult and behave consciously and consistently in public and in private. Maybe it is time to start thinking, speaking and acting like we are mature and capable adults. Maybe it is time to criticizing and telling kids how to behave and start listening to our own words.

Recently I have seen and heard the needs of many children to be seen and heard with respect and love. I have watched how powerful just listening and loving them can be. I have enjoyed the blessing of being kind, appreciative and genuinely caring for each one. I have valued being open to watch them blossom when someone takes the time, even a few minutes/week.

Consider speaking to every child as your equal. Consider being gentle and respectful in your tone. Consider changing your mind and treat them as capable and reasonable. Consider loving them as you want to love the most precious one in your life.

Each encounter is healing and holy. Begin now for as you give to another, you are giving to yourself.

From Dr. Wayne Dyer What Do You Want More Than Anything For Your Children?

• Value Themselves • Be Risk Takers • Self-Reliance • Freedom from Stress and Anxiety • Have Peaceful Lives • Celebrate Present Moments • Experience a Lifetime of Wellness • Creativity • Fulfill Their Higher Needs • Feel A Sense of Purpose

YOU must Demonstrate / Model: • The ability to enjoy life. • Be a positive example. • Clarify what you know and how you feel. • Be expressive (Feel–Want–Willing)

Average children do things right. No limit children do the right thing.

Basic Principles for Building Self-Esteem in Your Children 1. You must model self-respect. 2. Treat each child as a unique individual. 3. A child is not his actions. 4. Provide opportunities to be responsible and make decisions. 5. Teach enjoyment of life each day. 6. Provide praise rather than criticism. 7 We become what we think about. Our thinking determines our self-image.

To Raise A Child’s Self-Portrait (Self-Image) 1. Encourage children to be risk-takers rather than always taking the safe road. 2. Discourage children from all self put downs. 3. Reduce emphasis on external measures of success. 4. Work at reducing whining and complaining behavior. 5. Encourage excitement about everything in life. 6. Encourage children to choose independence rather than dependence. 7. Teach children to be non-judgmental. 8. Encourage children to be honest with themselves. 9. Be aware in the importance of appearance to young people. 10. Encourage healthy thinking. 11. Catch children doing something right. Remind them of how terriffic they are. 12. Treat children as total and complete, now. 13. Hold them, touch them, kiss them. 14. Listen carefully to your children. 15. Give them opportunities to be unique. 16 Encourage their friends to “hang out” at your home. 17. Read aloud with them at all ages. 18. Be involved in their age-related activities.

Loving each one as important to all of us. Betty Lue

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