No More Dependency

No more neediness. No more attachment. No more leaning. No more trying.

What? Isn’t this this basis of all our relationships and life itself? When we depend on what is always changing, we may be surprised, disappointed and hurt. When we need people to be consistent in their behavior and choices, we will feel betrayed. When we expect others give us always their best and be dependable, we may be blind-sided.

When we are children, we need to be provided for. When we are children, we need to attach to someone. When we are children, we need to lean on others. When we are children, we need to try in order to learn.

When we are adult, we must depend on ourselves. When we are mature, we are attached to being our best. When we are wise, we lean on our faith, our ethics and our values. When we are grown up, we know that trying may be our excuse for not being accountable.

Adolescence seems to be a stage in which we waver back and forth depending on our whim. In adolescence, we may expect adult privileges, but take on only childhood responsibilities. In adolescence, we may expect to “get” our needs met, but slack off on keeping our agreements. In adolescence, we may give many excuses for not behaving as a responsible adult, and lean on others.

We will consistently be hurt by believing we can count on others, when we cannot count on ourselves. We can realize how dependent we are by experiencing our erratic emotional state. We see how much effort we put into making others fit our expectations, but are unreliable ourselves. We learn that depending on others to fulfill our needs when they cannot fill their own is foolish.

Life is a learning university. In every relationship, we recognize how little control we have over another’s behavior and choices. In every relationship, we understand we are depending on something that is not dependable. In every relationship, we learn not to depend on consistency, reliability and accountability.

People will do what they know and trust and are willing to do in each moment. People will give us what they can count on within themselves, depending on their state . People may be childish and dependent, adolescent and ambivalent or adult and accountable. People may remain dependent or ambivalent their entire lives and we are foolish to believe otherwise.

We must learn to count on ourselves. We must be willing to become responsible, accountable and dependable to ourselves. We must choose to love, trust, respect and appreciate ourselves. We must be the ones to give our best to and for ourselves everyday in everyway.

Is it time for you to grow up and be responsible for your thoughts and feelings, for your choices and commitments? Is it time for you to stop blaming others and being a victim and simply choose for what is best and right for you? Is it time for you to stop depending and pretending you are incapable and unwilling to be wholly responsible? Is it time for you to take care of your well-being by making always and only Good choices for your Highest Good? It is time!

Useful suggestions for applying the technique of Autosuggestion to the Affirmations Write each affirmation 10 to 20 times. Writing is an extremely powerful technique of autosuggestion. Work with one or more every day. Good times are just before sleeping, before starting the day and especially whenever you feel at effect. They can also be recorded on cassette tape and played back to yourself. The best way to do that is by recording each affirmation 5 or 10 times so that you have time to think about them when they are playing. Make a list of the affirmations that are most meaningful to you. Put specific names and situations into the affirmations. Play with the vocabulary in the affirmation--make it personal and meaningful to yourself. Say the affirmations to yourself in the first, second and third persons as follows: I, (name), now like myself. You, (name), now like yourself. Name, now likes him/herself. Feel free to invent new ones. Continue working with them daily until they become totally integrated into your consciousness. To dissolve negative mental patterns and free maximum aliveness in your consciousness, write each affirmation in order 10 or 20 times. Note the ones that are most meaningful or produce the greatest charge. Continue working with these until they go flat. When they go flat, you are at total cause and master of the results implied by the affirmations.

Loving you and me as we learn to be what we seek for ourselves, Betty Lue

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