If you don’t like it………..
Affirmations:
- I forgive myself for going along to get along.
- I edit my thoughts and words to reflect what is true in me.
- I give what I want to receive .
- I speak and act in ways I want everyone to see and hear.
Don’t Like It??
If you don’t like “crude”, don’t be rude. If you don’t like unkindness, don’t be unkind. If you don’t like yelling, don’t yell. If you don’t like anything, don’t behave that way.
If you don’t like something, change your own behavior. We are the teachers with what we think and say and do. The more we act like what we don’t like, the more it shows up. The more we think and talk and do what is not true for us, the more we encourage the same.
It is our behavior that teaches others.. Our complaints and threats and words make matters worse. Our negativity only gives what we don’t like power. Our greatest teaching is how we live.
If you don’t like someone, don’t play with them. If you don’t like certain foods, don’t eat them. If you don’t like a certain behavior, don’t focus on it. What we give energy to will repeat itself again and again.
Behavior Modification teaches to ignore the behavior you want to extinguish. It also teaches to reward the behavior you want to encourage. Give yourself and others positive attention for actions that you prefer. Step away from interactions you want to discourage.
Often we notice what we dislike and ignore what we like. Learn to praise yourself and others for the good stuff. Learn to listen to and enjoy what is positive and kind. Learn to turn away from gossip, crude language and yelling.
Children and adults learn from one another. To fit in or belong we often join into the group thinking. We forget to be true to ourselves and practice what we prefer. Step away from negative, unkind and thoughtless behavior.
Listen to yourself and see if you are happy with your language. Watch yourself to see if you are at peace with your behavior. Notice your thoughts and imaginings to see if they please you. Everything you think, say and do is teaching your world.
We individually can change our world by changing our mind. We are guiding our perceptions and projections with our thoughts, words and behavior. We are powerful teachers of innocence and Love when we choose to be. We are the caretakers of what is good and whole and true for us all.
Loving me is loving you, And Loving you is loving me.
SUCCESSFUL COMMUNICATION KEYS: Calm tone of voice and be on the same level. Ask permission to speak Tune in to where they are with desire to understand. Give what will create the greatest safety and respect. Talk with kindness and in private. Step away until both parties are calm. Use time-outs as needed. Defuse the stress, urgency and upset, before attempting to talk. Be clear when you don’t have time or patience to listen. Write communication to avoid confrontations and arguments. Allow all parties time to think about their needs and possible equitable solutions. Encourage using “I feel….., I want…… and I am willing……… Seek cooperative agreement, rather than punishment, threat or demand. Open your heart to understand (“Walk in their shoes”) Choose an outcome where everyone wins.
HEALTHY HABITS Listen with an open and quiet mind. Wait your turn to speak. Appreciate what others say. Honor all differences. Respect everyone’s communication. Seek to understand before being understood. Put first things first. Happy Relationships before being Right!
Betty Lue
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