A Better Way to Relate!

The Gift of Relationships

Holidays are a great time to spend with children (& grandchildren). It is our preference to be with the children on their own. (sans parents). They so literally act out their parents and other adult influence. Children copy the words, nuance and beliefs of their role models.

Children are great actors and copycats. They deliver the same hand gestures, facial expressions and intonation that they see and hear from birth. Their drama is the drama of the adults in their lives. Their strong opinions and behaviors come from within their own cultural upbringing.

Like it or not, kids show us exactly where we are stuck or off purpose as well as helpful and kind. The obvious behavior of children lacks the subtleties of unconscious manipulations. Usually children are practicing, through trial and error, to find what works for them. They are great observers of the adults in their lives to get the reaction that they want.

Kids also are extremely flexible and willing to change their behaviors depending on where they are. When expected to be problems, they are. When needing to be the center of attention, they know how. When wanting nurturing babying and special care, they develop the act very early.

As a conscious learner, I am amused, amazed and neutral observer. Sometimes I am called to share an awareness that both helps the kids and awakens me. Today after dinner, I realized during an pretended dramatic interlude, what these guys are doing. The more your life is dramatic, the more highs and lows you will have. What brings you super highs will be counter-balanced with equal lows.

In a world where drama sells, children are learning to use drama as their most effective behavior. At a time when we commercialize and pay mightily for high drama, our children are buying in. In our family systems when adults are distracted by technology, children use drama for attention. Disease, disaster, devastation, depression are all viewed as important and value

When you know you have a choice, you can choose to have a neutral or balanced life. You can choose to step away from drama with your friends and parents. You can choose as a child to create easy going or more simple loving people and places. You can choose to have a life that is safe, fun and easy.

When you know drama is a choice, it is easy to choose no drama. When you know you can act dramatic without really feeling dramatic, you are free to play act. When you know drama yields its opposite, you may want to minimize the drama of today’s life. Parents can be helpful with their children by eliminating dramatic interaction.

Let us all consider neutralizing our interactions and interactions. Let’s stop reacting to sensationalism, fanaticism and extremes. Let us each choose to de-escalate our predicaments and calm ourselves. Let us encourage our children to find their inner calm and mild manners.

All of us want peace and harmony, love and kindness. Betty Lue

Forgive the past. Learn from any mistakes. Heal your disappointments and hurts. Grow with your goals. Live with gratitude.

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