Free Your Self

Dependent or Co-Dependent?

Do you need to be needed? Do you need someone to love you and care for you? Are you dependent on people, places or things? Are you aware of how vulnerable or insecure you feel?

What can you do to depend on you? How can you turn your life into a secure way of living? Do you have a schedule, routine or something to rely on? Are you willing to take responsibility for the quality of your life?

Whenever we feel dependent on someone or something, we will feel vulnerable. Depending on the reliability of others will open the door to insecurity. Those who learn to manage their own lives have less fear, anxiety and dependency needs. Consider what and who you can trust no matter what.

Is it helpful to you and others to be needy? Are you here to become your own person or to let someone else guide you? Do you need to be loved by another or can you actually love yourself? Do you need someone to need you to be worthy of being loved?

You may rely on the advice of others. You may need others to care for you. People depend on others or the government for finances. You may have learned to lean on another and stay dependent.

Consider whether you want someone to depend on you. Do you encourage others’ addictions or dependency? Are you aware of how you want to control people who need you? Do you need others to be dependent on you?

Help your children to become independent and grow up. Help partners to develop their own gifts and talents. With independence come strength, courage, and consciousness. Learn to be independent to feel Self confident and self respect..

You can be attached to another and want to keep them dependent on you. You can need to feel better about yourself by taking care of others. You can be addicted to the feeling of being needed. You can choose again to set yourself and others free to learn from life.

Dependent love is usually restrictive and limiting. Conditional love is based on what others do or don’t do. Independent love is trusting and freeing. Unconditional love has no limits and simply loves for the sake of loving.

The 12 Principles of Attitudinal Healing By Jerry Jampolsky, MD and ACIM 1. The essence of our being is love. 2. Health is inner peace, healing is letting go of fear. 3. Giving and receiving are the same. 4. We can let go of the past and of the future. 5. Now is the only time there is, and each instant is for giving. 6. We can learn to love ourselves and others by forgiving rather than by judging. 7. We can become love finders rather than fault finders. 8. We can choose and direct ourselves to be peaceful inside, regardless of what is happening outside. 9. We are students and teachers to each other. 10. We can focus on the whole of life, rather than the fragments. 11. Since love is eternal, change need not be viewed as fearful. 12. We can always perceive others as either extending love or giving a call for help.

Attitudinal Healing affirms that we are responsible for our thoughts and whatever feelings we experience. Attitudinal Healing encourages us to re-examine our relationships, bringing them into the present by releasing past judgments and grievances. Attitudinal Healing reminds us that perception is a mirror of what is in our mind.

Freeing and trusting you and me to heal and learn and grow, Betty Lue

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